Marriage and friends

Give them space! 

This is what our instinct tells us when our 'besties' get married

Are we wrong for doing that? 

Of course, the newlywed couple needs space to kick-start their marriage and find a balance in their life, and it is important for friends to respect this privacy.

However, the mistake the married folks make especially after marriage is believing that they do not need  friends. 

"Marry your friend", they say. So, if I married my best friend, do I still need other friends in my life? 

My response to this would be a question for you to consider; 

Have you had only one friend in your entire life?  

If not, do all your previous pals share same viewpoints, mindsets or have they played a similar role in your life? 

If you answered no, I hope you are starting to see why you need a friend other than your spouse. 

Friends are unique in their ways and play a distinct role in our lives

The truth is that your spouse will not always have all of the answers you need; God may have placed some of the answers you seek in the hands of others. Your partner will not always be able to assist you. Aside your spouse, you need other people in your life.

Know the roles each of your friends have come to play in your life

This is not to imply that we shouldn't respect boundaries; friends, know your limits, especially when it comes to other people's marital and domestic affairs. Don't meddle; don't cause havoc in people's home. 

Finally, when it comes to communication, a friend should not assume the role of your spouse. Your spouse should be your closest buddy after God.

I have heard married people say things like "I've not told my husband/wife this, he/she may not understand", which made me realize there are certain things they would rather share with their friends than with their spouses. 

So, after all is said and done😄, I leave it to your discretion to decide the content of your communication to your partner and friends😄

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Yours always,

Ruth, Oluwatumininu OLOLADE