WE'RE JUST FRIENDS!

I saw an episode of an American TV series, blindspot, Reade attempted kissing his co-worker and friend, but Zapata told him, "we're just friends". You know, I was as shocked as Reade, because even as a viewer, I almost thought Zapata was as interested in a more intimate relationship as Reade. 

I believe I have people like me here who find it easier to connect with the opposite sex, especially on the basis of friendship.

It's cool to have a male or female friend, but unfortunately, many of these kind of friendship relationship cause a lot of problems later which could have been averted.

This does not necessarily mean you should avoid friendship with the opposite sex. I mean, how many do you want to run from when it comes naturally? lol.

But that you avoid the emotional stress and trauma that comes with long time friendship with an opposite sex. Some of which may include unwanted advances, unwanted sexual feelings or even sexual harassment of any kind.

Some married people suffer more damage related to this subject matter. This is because marriage does not make you immune to having intimate feelings for another person especially an opposite sex friend.

So how do we handle this?

I'll say Define, Space out and Re-define. 

It's most likely going to be a cyclic process.

You have to keep defining your relationship with him/her and be sincere with yourselves when you feel the definition is changing.

It's dangerous to keep saying "we're just friends" when you know your mind disagrees.

When you sense a changing definition of your relationship, space out, give yourselves a break.

This allows for you both to think clearly. At this point, you can decide if you really want to pursue a relationship or it will be better to maintain the status quo. 

Spacing out should also help you to clear your head and prevent you from acting on your feelings which may not go well with the other person.

Thereafter, re-define your relationship and keep on with the latest definition.

You might also want to talk it through with your friend regularly, be sure you're on the same page. Also, when you realize you need a space, it's okay to tell your friend this, hopefully, your friend is reasonable enough to give you time.

But if you have a friend who is excited when you tell him/her you need space to get over the attraction, just because he/she wants to take advantage of that, well, you better run, that's not a good friend.

Lastly, who knows, your attraction towards each other could be divine, lol. Marry your best friend, right? 😊


Feel free to drop a comment or share your experience #winks