THE RUTH OLLY BLOG (Lifestyle, Health and Relationship)

  I was about 8 years old when I visited a family with my dad. I was watching TV in their sitting room when the light went off. I was disappointed initially, until the man went out and within 2 minutes, there was light again. I asked my dad if NEPA (as the Electricity distribution company was called then) restored the light, he said no, it's a generator. I had never heard of a generator before in my life and didn't get the opportunity to see one that day, but I remember leaving their house with the idea that the man must be very wealthy enough to own a generator. Years later we had our own generator, and we have used several ones since then. My cousin told me about the first time she saw a DSTV dish, her neighbours had just bought one. According to her, it was brought in with a big truck and was so big that several men had to carry it in. I could not imagine a dish that big because by the time we owned   a DSTV dish, it was so portable that I could carry it alone without breaki

  While packing the Jollof rice we cooked towards my dad and mum's birthday thanksgiving that morning, this boy of about 6 years was helping us to pack the Styrofoam disposable plates. He observed there were 3 colours of the Styrofoam disposable plates; blue, pink and yellow. He looked up and told his mother that he loved the blue plates more, then he added, "I'm going to be given a food from the blue plate in church today". I looked up at him immediately because his words caught my attention. I just felt this boy spoke from a place of confidence, he was so sure of himself getting the blue plate. So I said "Make sure you come and show me the colour of the food pack you get today". Fast forward to the end of service, I had forgotten all about our morning conversation. The boy ran towards me and said "I told you so, I got the blue plate" (Of course, the kids line up while their coordinators hand over their food to them. They don't pick it themsel

I promised to deliver! Here it comes! Sequel to my last post on "Is he/she the one?", I had a short interview session with 6 single/engaged individuals; 3 males and 3 females.  Let's see their responses on the journey to being with the one. Sit back, grab a snack and enjoy the read.   Let's take a pause😊 What do you think?  From the responses above, I can say there's no particular standard on how to know that guy/lady is the best for you. I believe you'll just know it😄 I also believe for those who trust God in this decision making, He'll help them to "just know it"😂 whether through visions, the word of God or inner witness.  I'll like to read your views in the comment session below👇 In Interview 1, my respondent said something like, they were only compatible in spiritual values, yet, they worked and walked together to achieve a good relationship that led to a successful marriage. Okay, let's get to the last. It's one of those that

I really didn't want to put this content up because it's an understanding that dawned on me based on my conversation with a friend. I felt like it wasn't necessary. But then, I realized that when God stirs my heart to write about something, and I do strong head😄by trying to find something else to write on, nothing comes! Not until I've penned down the one currently on my mind. So here it is👇 As a lady who gets advances from admirers, some of them being your friend who wants more while others are guys who probably fell in love with you at first sight if there's anything like that😄(I think we should talk about this someday). You find yourself trying to consider at a point if you're compatible or not, and this plays a larger role in your decision making. So I realized there's a percentage of compatibility to be considered when making a decision of who to be in a relationship with or not. You can meet a guy whom you are 45% compatible with, and while you are

I almost wasn't going to write this, because I felt like I'm guilty of it too, but then my final decision to write is as a result of my determination to do better going forward😅, so here it is!  Several years ago, the concept of gifting people for their birthdays was regularly practiced. I remember receiving quite a number of gifts from my friends and toasters😜 and I also got some for people.  I can still remember this gift shop I do go to. Oh! Remember those gift cards (birthday, wedding and much more) some of which I bought for as little as #30/#50😄. Even though people eventually throw them away when it starts littering the house but receiving them makes you feel like you matter, yeah?  During one of my birthdays in secondary school, we were going to start our exams that day, and so my best friend, Olamide, handed over my birthday gift before the exam started. I opened the wrap and was greeted by 2 pens, 2 pencils, 1 razor blade, 2 erasers and a ruler.  I was so happy, you

During my teenage years, I was in a vigil. After the prayers, the man of God said, "A virgin should pray for us" And he was like, don't try it if you're not a virgin lest you receive a curse.  You guessed right. The church was silent. I don't want to tell you what happened after😂 Now that I think of that day, I'm not in the position to say he was right or wrong to do that. All I can say is "Ko necesstri, my brother"😅 So the thing is, I am a Christian and an advocate of sexual purity. But, that doesn't or shouldn't put us in the position of a judge over others who are not. I remember reading an article by a colleague, Olojugba Damilola, (I think I'll get the link and put it in the comment section) she wrote that a lot of virgins are not actually virgins per se, some keep that place down there (lol) undefiled while satisfying their urges in other ways (porn, masturbation etc)  My conclusion is, if you're a virgin, thank God for your l

This is a different piece that stemmed from a moment in my life when I felt like I needed someone to talk to but I really didn't wanna talk to a family or friend. I guess I felt no-one would really understand. And truthfully, as much as we feel we should talk to people, I understand there are situations people cannot really relate well with what you're going through.  So I found myself finding a means to express myself without locking a lot within myself while hurting emotionally and mentally.  And there came a day I picked up my phone and started typing on one of my note apps, writing a letter to God, pouring out my mind.  At the end, I saved it as if posting a mail to someone invisible. I felt like a burden had been lifted from my mind, then I realized it feels good to pour out your deepest hurts which you can't share to other people in other ways possible.  I've met quite a number of people who, rather than writing down their burdens like I did, speak to the air or a

 As a fresh undergraduate, having grown up in a family where we believe in cooking our own food, while going to restaurants/eateries isn't a permitted luxury😄... ...I found myself amidst friends while studying one day, talking about hotdogs, sharwama, pizza etc and I'm like I've  not eaten any of the above before. Imagine their surprise, they laughed ehn. And I was like, I no send jare😄. Then I took an adventure of intentionally buying each of those food items, sharwama today, pizza another day, just to mark my own register of experience and thereafter, I could do yanga to people who haven't tasted any before, especially my brothers, as per local champion😂 I realized there's this pride in knowing something someone else doesn't, and having the privilege of being the vessel of honour😄 impacting the knowledge. Now, you can be in the midst of enormous knowledge, yet deprived of gaining this knowledge by your own self.  This made me realize you don't force p

That popular saying, "I wanna be like you when I grow up"...  The "avoidable" headache of man begins when they start to compare themselves with other people.  Hoping they can achieve what their friend or colleague achieved without having to go through the sacrifices required in attaining those successes.  Some with a hint of jealousy, wishing they can be the one in that neighbour's shoes. Of course, enjoying the good times, not the bad.  They see their crush or ex getting married to a beautiful woman and begin to say something like "I'm sure I'm more beautiful than she is" or "I can bet that I'm better in bed than she is". But deep inside, they only feel bad because they're not the beautiful lady in the wedding gown next to the man.  And so, life goes on and on with one person at a rung of a ladder wishing they were at the upper rung where life seems to be better, at least that's what they assume from their standing point

When it comes to Love, Relationship and Marriage, I have seen men fall in love with women who are physically disabled. A woman falling in love with a quadriplegic man.  A man proposing to deaf beautiful lady.  A successful man bearing his heart to a lady with scars from partial thickness burns on the face and body  All with physical disabilities. And I wondered how these things came to be.  I mean, we all have our dreams and desires; tall, dark and handsome kinda dreams😄 After some meditations on this, I remembered the definition of health by World Health Organization.  "Health is the complete state of physical, mental and social well-being of an individual and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity".  I began to realize that marriage between two perfect, non-physically disabled, individuals doesn't completely rule out the presence of scars that go beyond physical.  I started to see individuals who despite lacking physical scars bear with them emotional ones. Ind

Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family. As we go through various developmental milestones from childhood to adulthood, we meet and move with various people we call friends .  We make some in school, in the neighborhood, in church/mosque, at our workplace or even on social media.  A lot of things attract friends to each other, ranging from similar  beliefs and values ,  interests and activities, viewpoints, way of life, life experiences etc.  However, it is possible for a friendship relationship to enter a stationary or death phase when the individuals involved start to find a lot of difference in things they considered common to them before, or that attracted them to each other initially.  When such happens, it takes sincerity on each one's part to decide whether it's time for that relationship to come to an end or find a new set of object of attraction.  The stages of friendship includes: Stranger, Acquaintance, Casual Friend, Close Friend, an

Have you ever found yourself in a situation,  where you want to do things that are natural to who you are, but  the fear of being taken advantaged of, makes you take the alternate action? Your first mind wants to take a step but you get stopped in the track when  you consider 101 reasons why doing it will make you seem vulnerable to others. When growing up, I knew the birthday of every one around me by heart, I stay awake till 12 am when I wish them "happy birthday" before I sleep, until... Therefore, you accustom yourself to that person that is supposedly less vulnerable But before you know it, a change gradually occurs You can hardly recognize who you are anymore. People you wanted to protect yourself from  will be the one to ask you... Who are you? What have you become? This isn't who I knew you to be! ...that birthday of mine when all my close pals actually forgot my birthday, including my family members😞. I was disappointed, I began to change, not attempting to reme

Have you seen movies where a character feels threatened by a life situation and decides a road trip will help clear his/her head in getting a solution to the problem at hand?   I came to realize that for me, a major place where I get such solitude that incites my meditation is the bathroom. Yeah, you read that right. As the water touches my body, it's more like it's washing away the cloudiness of my mind😄, and then I can think clearly.  gradyreese / Getty Images I wondered why this was so, especially the day I realized most of my ideas were conceived while in the bathroom. But I realized that the environment created a seclusion where I could meditate conveniently and get a lot of ideas to run with little or no distraction.  Besides the bathroom of course, I was soon able to discover other "wheres" that incites my meditation, creative thinking and reasoning.  Travelguide.net Another of such is "while traveling", I get a lot of inspiration on the road as I fe

  "Look at so-so family, their children are this and that, why are my own children like this?"   A typical Nigerian child might have had occurrences where their mother or father would say that to them. There's a dynamic with each family which shouldn't be disrupted if the family is going to enjoy maximum family health possible.  That dynamic is a unique pattern by which the family members relate, communicate, love and support each other, and it distinguishes that family from another. It also determines how the family relates with the outside world. This distinguishing factor is mostly common to all members of the family. Say for example, a family is known for a great sense of humor among the members. Another for an argumentative ability that is second to none (you'll see children of such family doing when in debates). Another could have something to do with musical talents among the members and another could be made up of bookworms. A family under duress when rest

I saw an episode of an American TV series, blindspot, Reade attempted kissing his co-worker and friend, but Zapata told him, "we're just friends". You know, I was as shocked as Reade, because even as a viewer, I almost thought Zapata was as interested in a more intimate relationship as Reade.  I believe I have people like me here who find it easier to connect with the opposite sex, especially on the basis of friendship. It's cool to have a male or female friend, but unfortunately, many of these kind of friendship relationship cause a lot of problems later which could have been averted. This does not necessarily mean you should avoid friendship with the opposite sex. I mean, how many do you want to run from when it comes naturally? lol. But that you avoid the emotional stress and trauma that comes with long time friendship with an opposite sex. Some of which may include unwanted advances, unwanted sexual feelings or even sexual harassment o

I don’t wanna talk, I don’t feel like talking, Simbi told herself. As she looked at her gramps who obviously wanted her to say something to ease the tension her silence was building. As she looked at the recent chat from her best friend who says  "we're drifting apart these days, what's up?" As she looked into the face of her husband who says,  “what’s happening to us?” As she looked at the series of unread chats on whatsapp awaiting her response. She tried to bring herself to respond, opening her mouth, nothing came out, staring at her fingers which couldn't bring itself to type a word. What’s wrong with me? Is it the hormones? Is it a mood-thing?  She asks herself. Her world is crashing, she's loosing friends faster than she can keep them, just because she doesn't feel like talking. She desperately seeks a fast solution. She remembers what the Holy book says about the spirit being willing but the flesh being weak. Of course, when

When u play a "this or that" game, where you need to choose one out of two weighted options. One is expected to weigh much more than the other, which should therefore, be your answer in that category. But let's say you are faced with a reality, a pressing situation, a life-demanding circumstance, where you have to decide whether it's this or that. Especially in areas of life such as career, relationships, marriage, academics, job hunting amongst others. Both options weighted, weighs equally, one wrong decision costs you a big loss. A lot of questions fill the heart, one specifically rings louder, THIS OR THAT? What should you do? 1) Still the heart Let there be peace, let the noise in your heart be stilled. Sometimes your heart amplifies your dilemma, creating noise that disrupts an effective decision making process. 2) Find the 0.1 You have a 50/50 options at hand. But consider having 50.1/49.9 options. You have an answer, don't you? All you need

Many times, we get agitated about the future, a lot of expectations we lay down for ourselves; In the nearest future, I must achieve this. But how do you measure your achievement Keeping our gaze forward or looking back? Looking back right? And by this, you determine if your expectations or goals were achieved or not. Here’s an exercise for you. Set a time frame for yourself going back in time. Subtract what you were back then from what you are now. That gives you the value you added to yourself within that time frame A positive answer means you added value to yourself. A negative answer means you probably depreciated. Depreciation? Is that even possible? Yes! When learning stops and value isn't added, a depreciation can occur. Look behind you! Measure! Improve! Remember to 👏 or drop a comment

It's really bad, I want to end it! When things go bad, I mean really bad, series of thoughts run through our mind. Let me share some of mine...promise you won’t laugh (lol) you see, I’m even laughing at myself. * Sometimes, I wish the end of the world would come with the appearance of Jesus, just to save me from the mess I’ve found myself, but then I remember I’m not married and haven’t started a family yet, and I don’t want Him coming to end the world when... you know....😂. * Other times, a thought like, "God take my life and lemme come join you in heaven" comes, but quickly I tell myself, you don’t wanna die now, trust me 😂 Then at that moment, I wondered what made those people who committed suicide do so? I mean, it must have started with thoughts like those, right? Especially when they feel they can’t control their life anymore. They think they have nothing to live for anymore. So when things are bad, they feel they have the easy way out which is